Good, Bad, Awful …

Somewhere in my recent reading, I came across a report that research shows that it is not the presence of stress in our lives that creates problems, nor is it the type of stress, nor is it the amount of stress.  It is our attitude toward stress.  If we believe that stress is a bad thing, a problem … it is.  Often then, we develop physical issues like high blood pressure, heart disease and other illnesses.  On the other hand, if we believe stress simply is or it’s a good thing, there is no adverse impact on our bodies.

This is another reason to practice noticing losses and allowing that awareness to simply be.  Not making our experience good or bad, particularly if we are feeling some emotion with which we are uncomfortable.

Sadness, relief, guilt, anger, happiness … I doubt there is any emotion that hasn’t been felt by someone who is experiencing a loss.  All of them valid, none of them wrong.  And we feel this variety of emotions about all kinds of losses.   Like loss of control; or perhaps more precisely, loss of the illusion of control.

Last week I had an opportunity to look at this … again.   I spent the week with technology problems.  My internet connection was very intermittent.  I felt angry, I felt sad, I felt lonely.  I was so focused on trying to get back in control that I pretty much lost everything else.

When it works, technology is ‘good.’  When it doesn’t, it’s ‘bad.’  When technology is intermittent, it’s AWFUL. (Notice that I did not put quotes around that judgment. I’m attached to it.  It is my fact of the week.)  I even found a poem that illustrates this.

all the goodness
of my life is

first you,
and with you


even creativity,
which is always
the last to go,
is only making
a token appearance.

The poem is from How To Survive the Loss of a Love and so it was written by Peter McWilliams about love … but I think it fits.  What do you think?


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