IF YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT HARMING YOURSELF OR ANOTHER, GET HELP RIGHT AWAY. Dial 911 if you are in immediate danger.  In the United States, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) and the Boys Town National Hotline (1-800-448-3000) are always available and are free of charge.  DON’T WAIT … CALL NOW.

Remember to breathe … and do it in a way that fully supports your body and its biological processes.  So, draw a breath in and allow your abdomen and chest to move out as the air fills your insides – now let that breath out and feel your abdomen and chest move in as you expel the air fully.   Again, air in with your tummy and chest expanding; air out with your tummy and chest moving in.

Express yourself physically.  Pound a pillow.  Tear up a phone book.  Scrub a floor or a wall or a bathtub or a counter.  Let your tears come and cry until you are done; know this may happen often (or rarely … or not at all).  Sing with gusto … or softly … or at full volume.  Dig in a garden.  Chop wood.  Run.  Walk.  Dance. Swing your arms.  Hug your body.  Yell and scream and rage.

When you have a pleasant or funny memory, go ahead — smile. It’s okay to remember and enjoy; it’s okay to laugh.  It’s okay to share your good feelings.

Stand under the shower and let the water flow over your body.  Prepare a warm bath for yourself.  Spread lotion over your body and pamper your skin.

Write in a journal about how you feel.  Have a dialogue with your emotions.  Draw or paint if words won’t come.

Listen to music that soothes or enlivens or saddens or moves you.  Breathe deeply and fully.

Get into nature. Breathe and let it embrace you (inside and outside).

Allow yourself to feel your anger.  Be mad at God or the Universe or the Divine (or whatever your name for it is).  God is big enough to take it and to wrap your pain in love.  If your God isn’t that big, borrow mine for the time being.

Allow yourself to feel your sadness.  Simply be with your hurt and pain.

Talk to someone; someone you feel safe with.  Someone who will simply listen with loving attention.  Maybe someone who shares some memories and has their own sadness about the loss and, yet, has the emotional capacity right now to support you.  Decide whether you want to connect in person or through technology; which avenue is best for you?  Reach out to someone right now.